Less than a minute after I’ve torn myself from the sacred womb of unconsciousness, Neil has taken over the bed, his pale form splayed like a puff-pastry Jesus on a sweat-soaked cotton cross. He snores softly, an escaped goose feather woven into his silvery stubble. In the bathroom I grab a pen from between the pages of his crossword puzzle book, pull an Us Weekly subscription card from the trash and scribble, Dissatisfied housewife dying slow death in suburbia. Swallows contaminated Xanax. Turns into giant stinkbug.
Tracing the Bones
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Cynical housewife Eve Myer has two kids, chronic back pain, and a decaying writing career―as well as a stagnant marriage haunted by her husband’s long ago affair. When a new family moves in next door, Eve becomes consumed with curiosity about beautiful life coach Anna, and with powerful lust for Billy, a sexy alternative healer with a troubled, mysterious past. As Eve begins healing sessions with Billy, an unthinkable tragedy strikes Anna and her small son. Eve’s obsession invites even more suspicion and mistrust into her marriage and as her life unravels, her sessions with Billy intensify, culminating in an alternative, experimental trip deep into the woods―a freezing winter’s journey that threatens the remaining bonds of Eve’s marriage.
What People Are Saying
Elise’s writing is smart, beautiful, dark, funny, unflinchingly honest and downright poetic. As a fellow writer, I find the whole thing infuriating.
New Age bodywork, inter-dimensional sex, a possible murder, and a really hot yoga guy — Elise A. Miller is lighting up all my chakras with her pageturner Tracing the Bones!
Engaging, arousing, unpredictable and seriously funny. Read this suburban satire as soon as possible. You won’t be sorry.
This thrilling tale of a suburban housewife manages to be simultaneously satirical and spooky.
The alternative healing aspect puts an unexpected twist on the unsatisfied housewife narrative, while Eve’s character makes for an unstable roller coaster. You have to read Tracing the Bones this summer.
If you’re looking for a smart and sexy read, be sure to pack Tracing the Bones in your beach bag, as Elise A. Miller makes fun of the dark Lifetime Movie thriller formula with serious heat.
A healing trip in the freezing woods leaves Eve’s marriage even more threatened and she soon discovers secrets that would have been better left buried in the snow.
Engaging and mysterious, this book will keep you laughing and guessing in equal turns.
Elise A. Miller’s Tracing the Bones is check under the bed, pull the covers up close kind of suspense.
I walk into the classroom, Styrofoam cup of faculty lounge coffee in one hand, class list in the other, fake Prada sunglasses slipping down my sweaty nose. Before I battle it out with the giant windows, sealed shut with a summer’s worth of Manhattan grime, I perch on a table, shove the glasses on my forehead, and study the column of names.
My new assistant is still not here and it’s almost 8:40. That’s what I get for staying here for six years. They always give me the first-years because it doesn’t matter anymore. I could teach first grade with an assistant hamster.
Star Craving Mad
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Maddy Braverman has taught first grade at the elite, private City Select Academy in New York City for the past six years and she’s ready to move on. Only she hasn’t found a new job yet. Or looked for one. She’s stuck in a rut fueled by celebrity-soaked fantasies, and in New York, celebs are as ubiquitous as cockroaches. Luckily for Maddy, this year she is assigned a new student—Lola Magdalena Seabolt—daughter of A-list on-again off-again couple Nic and Shelby. Nic happens to have a thing for “real life women,” of which Maddy is defintely one. And Maddy has a thing for celebrities. Nic’s marriage is falling apart. Maddy’s life is falling apart. It’s a sexy, golden opportunity. But can she navigate her way through a real-life celebrity affair without going Star Craving Mad?
What People Are Saying
Star Craving Mad is a superb example of humor with heart.
Elise Abrams Miller’s debut novel, Star Craving Mad, is this year’s best guilty pleasure.
Absurdly entertaining…romantic but not the least bit gooey…perceptive and often hilarious. Just read it already.
Upfront funny, sexy fiction. A hilarious comedy that manages to be outlandishly satirical, weirdly plausible and deliciously steamy all at the same time. Our extremely dumb, celebrity-soaked culture has been asking for a good parody—here it is!
Elise Millers’s debut shines…Prepare to read Star Craving Mad in a 24-hour period.